Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dear Kazakhstan.....

Dear Kazakhstan,

Let me start by saying who are you?  I mean I've seen the fake tv reporter that Ali G protrays as being from your country, but until I saw this CNN article, I didn't know you really existed.   I thought Ali G was just making you up.  I'm astonished to learn that you're "the world's ninth largest country".  Really?  A country your size has surely contributed to the world's culture with......with.....c'mon, what have you given the world, other than a phony TV reporter?

Using your logic, the United States should sue Jerry Lewis for protaying Americans as morons.  Why do you think the French love him so much?   By the way, go ahead and sue Ali G.  I'm curious to see what happens.

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Kazakhstan threatens to sue comedian

story.borat.jpg Sacha Baron Cohen portrays a spoof Kazakh television presenter named Borat

ASTANA, Kazakhstan (Reuters) -- Kazakhstan's Foreign Ministry threatened legal action Monday against a British comedian who wins laughs by portraying the central Asian state as a country populated by drunks who enjoy cow-punching as a sport.

Sacha Baron Cohen, who portrays a spoof Kazakh television presenter Borat in his "Da Ali G Show," has won fame ridiculing Kazakhstan, the world's ninth largest country yet still little known to many in the West, on British and U.S. channels.

Cohen appears to have drawn official Kazakh ire after he hosted the annual MTV Europe Music Awards show in Lisbon earlier this month as Borat, who arrived in an Air Kazakh propeller plane controlled by a one-eyed pilot clutching a vodka bottle.

"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way," Kazakh Foreign Ministry spokesman Yerzhan Ashykbayev told a news briefing.

"We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind." He declined to elaborate.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/11/15/kazakhstan.comedian.reut/index.html

Look out Coke & Pepsi, It's......eeeeuuuuoooo! Gross!

When I think of some of the nicest smells to smell (flowers, the ocean, a bar-b-que grill), fish doesn't come to mind.  So, when I read this story about Jones Soda coming out with Salmon-flavored soda, " When you smell it, it's got that smoked salmon aroma", just struck me as just down-right nasty.    Jones Soda, based in Seattle, is selling this soda in a package which "also includes other unusual sodas such as turkey & gravy, corn on the cob, broccoli casserole and pecan pie."   Nothing says Merry Christmas like nasty-ass soda!  Thank you, Jones Soda!!!

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Salmon-flavored soda, anyone?
Jones Soda adds a Pacific Northwest twist to its Thanksgiving flavors, and it smells fishy.
November 15, 2005: 7:45 AM EST

SEATTLE (Reuters) - For beverage connoisseurs tired of turkey-and-gravy or green-beans-and-casserole-flavored sodas, there's a new choice being offered this year by specialty U.S. soda manufacturer Jones Soda Co.: salmon.

Jones Soda, the Seattle company that scored a hit during the last two holiday seasons with its turkey-and-gravy-flavored sodas, said it is offering the orange-hued fish-flavored drink this year in a nod to the Pacific Northwest's salmon catch.

"When you smell it, it's got that smoked salmon aroma," said Peter van Stolk, chief executive of Jones Soda.

The artificially flavored salmon soda will be offered as part of a $13 "regional holiday pack" that also includes other unusual sodas such as turkey & gravy, corn on the cob, broccoli casserole and pecan pie.

While those bottles will be offered locally, Jones Soda is also selling its similarly-priced "holiday pack" of turkey and gravy, wild herb stuffing, brussels sprouts, cranberry and pumpkin pie sodas across the country.

Thanksgiving, a U.S. holiday that falls on the fourth Thursday of November, typically features a dinner with turkey, gravy and other condiments.

Van Stolk, who built his Seattle-based soda company by selling traditional sodas as well as exotic flavors such as green apple, bubble gum and crushed melon, said that "the most important thing (about Jones Soda) is that we can laugh at ourselves."

Asked whether he liked his new salmon soda, van Stolk said: "I cannot finish a bottle, I just can't."

 

http://money.cnn.com/2005/11/15/news/funny/salmon_soda.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes 

Thursday, November 10, 2005

"Toilet Man" Follow-Up

Well, well.....well.   When I first heard about this sap getting super-glued to a toilet seat, my first reaction was "Well, why didn't you look before you sat down?".  My next reaction was "Unless this is a joke between friends or some kind of frat thing, why would someone at the Home Depot put glue on a toilet seat?".  It just sounded fishy.

Now we have a follow up story.  Apparently Bob Dougherty "was glued to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center (Nederland, CO) but pulled himself free" in 2004.  Wow, talk about lighting in a bottle.  Twice he was glued to a toilet seat????? TWICE?  I don't know anyone that's every been glued to a toilet seat, let alone more than once. 

Oh, and let's not forget this moron is suing Home Depot for $3 million for "pain, humiliation and financial loss" for the incident with their toilet.  WOW!  Is this guy a millionaire?  What financial loss are we talking about here?  It's not like you were in a car accident, or suffered sever trauma; you got your ass glued to a toilet!   And, apparently, you've had this happen before.   Here's some advise; stop gluing yourself to toilets and blaming other people, and get your self some new glasses and a haircut so can land yourself a girlfriend and not spend your idle time with trying to come up with ways to con people.   C'mon.....really? You've been glued to toilets twice????

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Man glued to toilet may have history Town official: He's complained of same misfortune in past

story.toilet.man.ap.jpg Bob Dougherty wants $3 million for a prank he says left him stuck.

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A man who sued Home Depot last month claiming a prank left him glued to a toilet seat made a similar allegation about another restroom more than a year ago, an official told a newspaper.

Bob Dougherty's lawsuit alleges employees at the store ignored his pleas for help on the day before Halloween 2003 because they thought he was kidding.

But Ron Trzepacz, former director of operations for the town of Nederland, where Dougherty lives, told the Rocky Mountain News in Tuesday's editions that Dougherty told him in the summer of 2004 he was glued to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center but pulled himself free.

Trzepacz told the paper he inspected the bathroom and found "no indication that anything had been on the toilet seat." No police report was filed, he said.

Dougherty's lawyer, Mark Cohen, denied his client made such a claim and said Dougherty, 57, is willing to take a polygraph test.

"The allegation doesn't make any sense," Cohen told The Associated Press Tuesday.

Neither Trzepacz nor the Nederland town administrator immediately returned a call from AP. Nederland is about 45 miles northwest of Denver.

Dougherty's lawsuit, filed October 28, states that officials at the store in Louisville called for an ambulance after he had been stuck for about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, which separated from his skin, leaving abrasions, according to the suit. (Full story)

The lawsuit also stated Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and that he thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck.

The lawsuit claims he suffered pain, humiliation and financial loss. It seeks $3 million.

"It's not about the money. I want my health back. I want to be back to normal," Dougherty said. "I want to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody ever, ever again."

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/11/08/toilet.man.ap/index.html

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Look before you sit!!!

I'm not very keen on using public restroom.  So when I saw this story, my first reaction was "See! Public toilets are dangerous".   Besides glue, "other things" could be waiting on a toilet seat, just waiting to jump up and hitch a ride home. :-)   LOL   Besides, didn't he look before he sat down?  Apparently he didn't use a sanitary napkin, either.      Of course, he'll end up getting a huge check from Home Depot.  We should all be so lucky.  I think I'm going to head to Wal-Mart and super glue myself to a urinal!  LOL   ###############################################################

 

Glued to toilet, man sues Home Depot

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- Home Depot was sued by a shopper from a Colorado store who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.

Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The Daily Camera, of Boulder. "They just let me rot."

The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the store in Louisville, Colorado, on the day before Halloween 2003.

A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.

Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes.

Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and Dougherty, "frightened and humiliated," passed out as they wheeled him out of the store, court papers said. The toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

"This is not Home Depot's fault," Dougherty said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/11/03/toilet.suit.ap/index.html

Please Just Go Away

Former FEMA Director Michael Brown makes me sick.   Just when I thought I heard it all, here comes a story from CNN regarding emails that Mr. Brown sent before and during Hurricane Katrina.  Among other things, he was concerned about his personal appearance during the hurricane.  As noted in this story, on "August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with Taylor Melancon said. She told him, "You look fabulous," and Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstroms. ... Are you proud of me?".   Unreal!  I still have images of corpses in the streets of New Orleans, all the while this moron is talking about his overpriced shirt.  

Oh, and this is the worse part of all.   Michael Brown told Congress that he wasn't aware of there being any trouble at the Superdome until two days after the Hurricane.  In the CNN story, it's pointed out that "Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that "the situation is past critical" and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome. Brown's entire response was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?"   Yeah, how about getting your mind tweaked!  You are such a tool.   Of course, let's not forget "before joining the Bush administration, Brown spent a decade as the stewards and judges commissioner of the International Arabian Horse Association."  Yeah, I can see how working with horses qualifies you to be the head of FEMA.    

And this is laughable; "Brown is still on the federal payroll at his $148,000 annual salary. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, saying Brown's expertise was needed as he investigated what went wrong, agreed to a 30-day extension when Brown resigned. Chertoff renewed that extension in mid-October."  WHAT EXPERTISE????  He has none, other than how to dress and to raise horses!!!!  Please stop using my tax money to pay this fool.  Let him get back to his beloved horses.   ###############################################################   'Can I quit now?' FEMA chief wrote as Katrina raged E-mails give insight into Brown's leadership, attitude

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A Louisiana congressman says e-mails written by the government's emergency response chief as Hurricane Katrina raged showalack of concern for the unfolding tragedy and a failure in leadership.

Rep. Charlie Melancon, whose district south of New Orleans was devastated by the hurricane, posted a sampling of e-mails written by Federal Emergency Management chief Michael Brown on his Web site on Wednesday.

The Democratic lawmaker cited several e-mails that he said show Brown's failures. In one, as employees looked for direction and support on the ravaged Gulf Coast, Brown offered to "tweak" the federal response.

Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that "the situation is past critical" and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome.

Brown's entire response was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?" (Copies of e-mails posted by critic -- PDF)

On September 12 Brown resigned, 10 days after President Bush told him, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

Brown is still on the federal payroll at his $148,000 annual salary. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, saying Brown's expertise was needed as he investigated what went wrong, agreed to a 30-day extension when Brown resigned. Chertoff renewed that extension in mid-October.

Brown took over FEMA in 2003 with little experience in emergency management. He joined the agency in 2001 as legal counsel to his college friend, then-FEMA director Joe Allbaugh, who was Bush's 2000 campaign manager. When Allbaugh left FEMA in 2003 Brown assumed the top job.

Before joining the Bush administration, Brown spent a decade as the stewards and judges commissioner of the International Arabian Horse Association.

The e-mails Melancon posted, a sampling of more than 1,000 provided to the House committee now assessing responses to Katrina by all levels of government, also show Brown making flippant remarks about his responsibilities.

"Can I quit now? Can I come home?" Brown wrote to Cindy Taylor, FEMA's deputy director of public affairs, the morning of the hurricane.

A few days later, Brown wrote to an acquaintance, "I'm trapped now, please rescue me."

"In the midst of the overwhelming damage caused by the hurricane and enormous problems faced by FEMA, Mr. Brown found time to exchange e-mails about superfluous topics," including"problems finding a dog-sitter," Melancon said.

Melancon said that on August 26, just days before Katrina made landfall, Brown e-mailed his press secretary, Sharon Worthy, about his attire, asking: "Tie or not for tonight? Button-down blue shirt?"

A few days later, Worthy advised Brown: "Please roll up the sleeves of your shirt, all shirts. Even the president rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow. In this [crisis] and on TV you just need to look more hard-working."

On August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with Taylor, Melancon said. She told him, "You look fabulous," and Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstroms. ... Are you proud of me?"

An hour later, Brown added: "If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you'll really vomit. I am a fashion god," according to the congressman.

The e-mails came from Chertoff, who oversees FEMA, following a request by Melancon and Rep. Tom Davis, R-Virginia, chairman of a House committee appointed to investigate what went wrong during Katrina, Melancon said.

Brown resigned amid accusations that FEMA acted too slowly after Katrina hammered Louisiana and Mississippi, killing more than 1,200 people. He defended the government's response and blamed leaders in Louisiana for failing to act quickly as the hurricane approached.

He acknowledged he made some mistakes as FEMA's director, but he stressed that the agency "is not a first responder," insisting that role belonged to state and local officials.

Brown could not be reached for comment Wednesday night on the e-mails and Melancon's charges.

Although Chertoff has not turned over all the documents requested by the committee, Melancon charged that the material received so far contradicts testimony by Brown before the committee in which he described himself as an effective leader. (Melancon's analysis of e-mails -- PDF)

Melancon used an e-mail sent September 2, four days after the hurricane hit, to illustrate his point. On that day, Brown received a message with the subject "medical help." At the time, thousands of patients were being transported to the New Orleans airport, which had been converted to a makeshift hospital. Because of a lack of ventilators, medical personnel had to ventilate patients by hand for as long as 35 hours, according to Melancon.

The text of the e-mail reads: "Mike, Mickey and other medical equipment people have a 42-foot trailer full of beds, wheelchairs, oxygen concentrators, etc. They are wanting to take them where they can be used but need direction.

"Mickey specializes in ventilator patients so can be very helpful with acute care patients. If you could have someone contact him and let him know if he can be of service, he would appreciate it. Know you are busy but they really want to help."

Melancon said Brown didn't respond for four days, when he forwarded the original e-mail to FEMA Deputy Chief of Staff Brooks Altshuler and Deputy Director of Response Michael Lowder.

The text of Brown's e-mail to them read: "Can we use these people?"

Melancon also charged that few of the e-mails from Brown show him assigning specific tasks to employees or responding to pressing problems.

On September 1, FEMA officials exchanged e-mails reporting severe shortages of ice and water in Mississippi. They were to receive 60 trucks of ice and 26 trucks of water the next day, even though they needed 450 trucks of each.

Robert Fenton, a FEMA regional response official, predicted "serious riots" if insufficient supplies arrive.

Brown was forwarded the series of e-mails about the problem, but no response from him is shown in the e-mails provided to the committee, Melancon said.

Katrina came ashore along the Louisiana-Mississippi state line, after being downgraded from a Category 5 to a Category 4 storm. It flooded 80 percent of New Orleans. It was followed about a month later by Hurricane Rita, which caused more damage and flooding.

Melancon and several other Democrats from districts directly affected by Katrina were invited to participate as a ex-officio members of the Katrina investigative committee, though they have no formal role. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi refused to appoint any Democrats to the panel after GOP leaders rebuffed Democratic demands for an independent probe.

This is the second time a congressional committee had dealt with e-mails relating to FEMA's Katrina response. A complete transcript of Brown's e-mail traffic during the Katrina crisis has not been released by the Department of Homeland Security.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/11/03/brown.fema.emails/index.html

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

The Judge and his wives!!!

I really don't see what the big deal is.  Isn't bigamy legal in Utah? I wuz jus keading!  :-)   I've have to agree that any judge that commits a crime has a conflict of intrest.   But I have to ask why...why did it take a "14-month investigation" that "determined Steed was a polygamist and as such had violated Utah's bigamy law"?  Men have traveled to the moon and back in less time, yet, it took all of 14 months for investigators to determine this judge has more than one wife.  Heck, he has three wives!  Why didn't one of these investigators just, oh, I don't know, go to the judge's home and see all three wives tending to whatever they were tending to?  That could have been done in one day.

By the way, bigamy was outlawed in Utah in 1890.  I think someone should tell this judge that he needs to update his law books.....

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Utah judge with 3 wives fights for job

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (AP) -- A judge will ask the state Supreme Court on Wednesday to let him stay on the bench after a commission that oversees judges ordered him dismissed because he has three wives.

Those pursuing the case against Judge Walter Steed say his plural marriage creates a conflict: After taking an oath to uphold the law, he shouldn't be breaking it.

"You can't have it both ways," said Colin Winchester, the executive director of the state's Judicial Conduct Commission.

The commission issued an order seeking Steed's removal from the bench in February, after a 14-month investigation determined Steed was a polygamist and as such had violated Utah's bigamy law.

Bigamy is a third-degree felony in Utah punishable by up to five years in prison, but Steed's attorney, Rod Parker, said Utah's attorney general and the Washington County prosecutor have declined to prosecute his client.

Steed has served for 25 years in the southern border town of Hildale, handing down rulings in drunken driving and domestic violence cases. Parker contends the bigamy statute is only enforced in rare cases, such as when someone has been duped into marrying someone who already has a wife.

"There is no allegation that it's affecting his performance on the bench," Parker said. "It really is truly only about his private conduct."

The complaint against Steed was filed with the commission in November 2003 by Tapestry Against Polygamy, an advocacy group founded by ex-polygamous women who organized to help others leave the handful of secretive religious colonies that adhere to the practice.

Plural marriage was an original tenet of the mainline Mormon church, but the faith abandoned the practice as a condition of statehood in 1890. About 30,000 polygamists, who split from the main church into various fundamentalist sects more than 100 years ago, are believed to be living in Utah.

Steed legally married his first wife in 1965, according to court documents. The second and third wives were married -- or "sealed" as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints refers to it -- to him in religious ceremonies in 1975 and 1985.

The three women are biological sisters and no one in the family was expecting that the second and third marriages would be civilly recognized.

"I think it's an equal protection problem," Parker said.

The state Supreme Court's chief justice, Christine Durham, opted not to place Steed on administrative leave during the investigation.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/11/02/polygamous.judge.ap/index.html