Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Times Have Changed

I just ran across this on The Farmers Almanac's website.    And to think I was taking my love advise from listening to Lil' Jon!!!  "To the windows" just wouldn't cut it back in 1896:

 

Don’t peck a woman on the forehead or the end of the nose, or jerk at her bonnet strings in haste to get through. Do take the left hand of the young lady in your right; let go of your hat, just let it drop. Throw your left hand over the lady’s shoulder and let it fall down to her waist. Draw her gently and lovingly to your heart. Don’t be in a hurry. Her left hand is in your right … clasp it firmly, gently, and with thought and respect. Don’t be in a hurry. Her head lies on your shoulder. Look into her half-closed eyes. Lean forward with your head, not your body. Take good aim … the lips meet … the eyes close … the heart opens … (don’t be in a hurry) … the heart forgets all bitterness, and the incomparable art of kissing is learned.

 

http://www.farmersalmanac.com/yesteryear/yesteryear.html

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Oh, No You Didn't!

Oui, oui, what's that smell?  Oh, it's the smell of the french being stinky frenchies.  What else is new?   You have to think,after reading this story, that Oprah could have bought this store and fired everyone that works there.   They were having problems with "North Africans"?  I think Oprah is from Nashville, not Morraco.   Besides, she's "Oprah", not some crackhead looking to make the dash!  Oprah is nasty rich, and famous.   You fools are lucky she didn't buy your frog shop and fire every one of you.   Next time she rolls up to your shop, show some respect.  And tell Peppy Le Peu that's a cat he's stalking, not a snunk.   

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/22/oprah.apology/index.html

 

Luxury store apologizes to Oprah Hermes' Paris store had rebuffed talk show host

(CNN) -- Luxury store Hermes on Wednesday apologized to Oprah Winfrey for turning her away last week, saying that the store was closed to set up for a public relations event when the talk show host stopped by its Paris store.

"Hermes regrets not having been able to accommodate Ms. Winfrey and her team and to provide her with the service and care that Hermes strives to provide to each and every one of its customers worldwide," the store said in a statement.

"Hermes apologizes for any offense taken due to such circumstances."

The store said the incident occurred on June 14 around 6:45 p.m., about 15 minutes after the store closed. It said Winfrey and her team arrived at a time when "a private PR event was being set up inside."

Winfrey had no immediate comment.

The New York Daily News cited sources close to Winfrey as saying that the talk show host was first rebuffed by a clerk and then a store manager. The Daily News said Winfrey had gone to the store to buy a watch for singer Tina Turner, her dinner partner that night.

Daily News competitor the New York Post, in its Monday Page Six gossip column, reported she was turned away because the store had been "having a problem with North Africans lately."

In comments to CNN, a spokeswoman categorically denied that allegation.

"There was never any discussion of North Africans," the spokeswoman said. "The story is not true."

The spokeswoman said Winfrey came to the store 15 minutes after closing and a security guard informed her the store was closed and gave her a card, telling her she could come back the next day.

Surveillance videotape of the encounter supports the store's account of what happened, according to the spokeswoman.

She said the CEO of Hermes has called Winfrey's people to explain "the situation" and invited her to come back to shop in the store.

 

Monday, June 20, 2005

Runaway Bride To Get TV Show?

I was going to come up with my own take on this whole Jennifer Wilbanks piece of crap, but Van Smack did a way better job that I can do.  

PS: Jennifer Wilbanks is a moron.

http://www.jimrome.com/home/article/article_5.html

Find someone who caused harm to a number of people, abused the police and made up stories about getting abducted by a, ‘Hispanic with rotten teeth’, and then a TV show.

According to reports, that is exactly what’s happening to runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks. You may remember that she is the bug-eyed freak, who started feeling the squeeze of her impending marriage and bolted. Then she made up some story about getting abducted.

Wilbanks disappeared for a number of days causing authorities in her Georgia hometown to begin a massive man hunt for her and her abductors. When she finally showed up in Albuquerque, and police question her about the abduction, she cracked and told them she was full of crap and made the entire thing up.

Yeah, just the sort of person that you want to give a TV show. Look, I am not a TV executive, but how about employing people that are, I don’t know, talented, entertaining, hard working, creative, humorous and compelling? How about putting them on TV instead of people who break the law, file false reports with the police and cause stress to innumerable people lives?

You know what this is going to do, don’t you? Every other bug-eyed whacko out there is going to start making up lies about getting snatched in an effort to land their own TV show.

Don’t give her a TV show, throw her ass in jail and send a message to all the losers out there that this doesn’t pay. Now all the morons who are too stupid to get on reality TV, will try this route to get on TV instead. Count me out for the Runaway Bug-Eyed Freak TV show. I’m not interested.

 

Friday, June 17, 2005

Memo To PETA Workers

Memo To Peta Workers:

You're suppose to help animals, not kill them. 

Two PETA Employees Arrested in N.C.

AHOSKIE, N.C. (AP) - Two employees of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have been charged with animal cruelty after dumping dead dogs and cats in a shopping center garbage bin, police said. Investigators staked out the bin after discovering that dead animals had been dumped there every Wednesday for the past four weeks, Ahoskie police said in a prepared statement Thursday.

PETA has scheduled a news conference for Friday in Norfolk, Va., where the group is based.

Police found 18 dead animals in the bin and 13 more in a van registered to PETA. The animals were from animal shelters in Northampton and Bertie counties, police said.

The two were picking up animals to be brought back to PETA headquarters for euthanization, PETA president Ingrid Newkirk said Thursday. Neither police nor PETA offered any theory on why the animals might have been dumped.

Police charged Andrew Benjamin Cook, 24, of Virginia Beach, Va., and Adria Joy Hinkle, 27, of Norfolk, Va., each with 31 felony counts of animal cruelty and eight misdemeanor counts of illegal disposal of dead animals. They were released on bond and an initial court date was set for Friday.

Hinkle has been suspended, but Cook continues to work PETA, Newkirk said.

Newkirk said she doubted Hinkle had ever been cruel to an animal and said if the animals were placed in the bin, "We will be appalled."

 

http://www.wjla.com/headlines/0605/236490.html

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Howard Dean was wrong/GOP is now PORN

Wow!  Talk about a 180!  Earlier this week Howard Dean said the Republican Party was ""pretty much a white, Christian party" and said many in the GOP "never made an honest living."  http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/06/11/dean.attacks.ap/index.html

How wrong was he!  Republicans are open to pretty much all types of people...even porn shanks, er, movie stars from the valley!  And is her name really Mary Carey?  Usually porn stars have off the wall names like "Sunshine Surprise" or "Dirk Digler"...not that I would know.  I'm just saying that's what I heard.  And you have to love the fact that she's been a Republican for "only a few days".  Do you think she can spell Republican? She probably thinks GOP is something you'd do in a porn movie.

Anyway, I think Howard Dean should rethink what he said about Republicans.  I know most Hollywood-types are liberal, but the GOP has opened it's pants, er, arms to the porn industry. Besides, isn't he calling the kettle black? Dude is the former government of Vermont.  The popluation there is like 99.9% white, and i don't think there's many non-Christians there. 

Porn star attending GOP fund-raiser Mary Carey plans run for lieutenant governor


WASHINGTON (AP) -- Blond porn star, political candidate. And now you can add one more line to Mary Carey's resume: Republican booster.

Carey was in Washington Tuesday to attend the President's Dinner, an annual fundraiser put on by the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

A few hours before the dinner, Carey met with reporters to show off her evening gown and talk about a Republican lunch she and her boss, adult film executive Mark Kulkis, attended.

"I met a lot of nice people," Carey said of the lunch, where presidential adviser Karl Rove spoke. "I met some people who talked about helping me with donating money to my next campaign."

She plans to run for lieutenant governor of California next year as an independent. But her trip to Washington has swayed Carey's political leanings. She says she's been a Republican "for a couple of days."

Anyone expecting her to cause a scene with her attire at the President's Dinner might be disappointed.

She was wearing a black, floor-length gown. The only color added to the outfit was her red, white and blue Republican elephant lapel pin and similarly patriotic fingernails.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/06/14/pornstar.gop.ap/index.html

Monday, June 13, 2005

Freeze!! Put Those Chickens Down!!!

Nothing says "i'm a tool" more that these idiots.   This article talks about the biggest raid ever against cockfighting.   For those of you who don't have two first names, I'll break it down for you.   Cockfighting involves taking a chicken and placing sharp weapons on it's feet and beak.  The object of this game is to place two of these warrior chickens in a pit, and they bascailly peck and claw at each other utill one of them dies. 

Yeah, sounds exciting, doesn't it?  You have to be the biggest loser in the world to enjoy this "sport".  Thankfully, 144 of these winners were rounded up in this raid.  I have to say, I've never been to a cock fight, and don't know anyone that has been to one.  That's because I have an IQ above 80, and my family tree has more than two forks in it.   If you feel the need to gamble your money on something, do it in the stock market.  Invest in something!!   Stop taking your kid's college fund and blowing it on killer chickens!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/13/cockfight.arrest.ap/index.html

 

NEWPORT, Tennessee (AP) -- Law enforcement agents raided an illegal cockfight and arrested 144 people attending what one official said may have been one of the nation's largest such gatherings.

Several SWAT teams, helicopters and dozens of state troopers participated in the raid Saturday on the sprawling Del Rio Cockfight Pit. They seized about $40,000 in cash and killed more than 300 roosters.

"Reputedly, this was the largest cockfight in the United States," said District Attorney Al Schmutzer Jr. "It was becoming open and notorious, and you just can't stand back and let something operate like that in the community."

The 144 were each charged with being a spectator to cockfighting, a misdemeanor in Tennessee. If convicted, they face up to 11 months and 29 days in jail and a $2,500 fine.

John Goodwin, of the Humane Society of the United States, who took part in the raid, said it served notice on those conducting such illegal operations. "I wouldn't want to be a cockfighter in East Tennessee right now," he said.

David Webb, a gamecock owner from Rhea County, said he lost more than 20 chickens valued at $150 each during the raid. "I've been around thisstuff all my life. Everything I've ever known is a chicken fight," he said.

Newport, adjacent to the Great Smoky Mountains, is 42 miles east of Knoxville. 

 

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Welcome To America! First, Give Me That Chainsaw!

Picture this: you're a US Border Agent.  Your job is to meet and greet people coming in from Canada.  Your also on the lookout of anything "suspicous".  So, a gentelman comes to the checkpoint, requesting entry into the US.  Of course, he's allowed in.  However, before he's allowed entry he must turn over his blood-stained chiansaw, a sword, brass knuckles, a knife, and a hatchet.

Count 'em; "5" weapons!  And the Boarder Patrol allowed into the US.  Now, I'm not saying it's the agents fault that he was allowed in.  The agent followed the rules; the "visitor" was detained for a few hours before he gained entry, and a check for any warrants, etc, was done, and none were found againt this guy.   But common sense tells me that if someone enters the courty with anything dangerous, and this dude had 5 weapons (one blood-stained), you'd think the boarder patrol would have detained him for much longer, perhas even deny him entry into the US.     After seeing this story I'm feel so much safer, knowing that our boarders are safe for criminals to cross.   

 

Man with sword, chain saw let into United States

 

vert.despres.pool.jpg

Gregory Despres is suspected of decapitating Frederick Fulton.

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- On April 25, Gregory Despres arrived at the U.S.-Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood.

U.S. customs agents confiscated the weapons and fingerprinted Despres. Then they let him into the United States.

The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Despres' hometown of Minto, New Brunswick: The decapitated body of a 74-year-old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on Fulton's kitchen floor. His head was in a pillowcase under a kitchen table. His common-law wife was discovered stabbed to death in a bedroom.

Despres, 22, immediately became a suspect because of a history of violence between him and his neighbors, and he was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.

Blood, rust or red paint

At a time when the United States is tightening its borders, how could a man toting what appeared to be a bloody chain saw be allowed into the country?

Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, said the Canada-born Despres could not be detained because he is a naturalized U.S. citizen and was not wanted on any criminal charges on the day in question.

Anthony said Despres was questioned for two hours before he was released. During that time, he said, customs agents employed "every conceivable method" to check for warrants or see if Despres had broken any laws in trying to re-enter the country.

"Nobody asked us to detain him," Anthony said. "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. ... We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations."

Anthony conceded it "sounds stupid" that a man wielding what appeared to be a bloody chain saw could not be detained. But he added: "Our people don't have a crime lab up there. They can't look at a chain saw and decide if it's blood or rust or red paint."

Sgt. Gary Cameron of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police would not comment on whether it was, in fact, blood on the chain saw.

On the same day Despres crossed the border, he was due in a Canadian court to be sentenced on charges he assaulted and threatened to kill Fulton's son-in-law, Frederick Mowat, last August.

Mowat told police Despres had been bothering his father-in-law for the past month. When Mowat confronted him, Despres allegedly pulled a knife, pointed it at Mowat's chest and said he was "going to get you all."

Police believe the dispute between the neighbors boiled over in the early-morning hours of April 24, when Despres allegedly broke into Fulton's home and stabbed to death the musician and 70-year-old Veronica Decarie.

Fulton's daughter found her father's body two days later. His car was later found in a gravel pit on a highway leading to the U.S. border. Despres hitchhiked to the border crossing.

After the bodies were found on the afternoon of April 26, police set up roadblocks and sent out a bulletin that identified Despres as a "person of interest" in the slayings, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The bulletin caught the eye of a Quincy police dispatcher because it gave the suspect's Massachusetts driver's license number, missing a character. The dispatcher plugged in numbers and letters until she found a last known address for Despres in Mattapoisett. She alerted police in that town, and an officer quickly spotted Despres.

In state court the next day, Despres told a judge that he is affiliated with NASA and was on his way to a Marine Corps base in Kansas at the time of his arrest.

After the case was transferred to federal court, Despres' attorney, Michael Andrews, questioned whether his client is mentally competent.

Fulton's friends in Minto, a village of 2,700 people, told the New Brunswick Telegraph-Journal that he was a popular musician, a guitarist known as the "Chet Atkins of Minto" and a 2001 inductee in the Minto Country Music Wall of Fame.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/06/07/border.crossing.ap/index.html