Just A List

There are a few things I wanted to talk about that have happened recently, like this freakin' ice storm that has totally wrecked by hopes of having a globally-warm winter, and this whole Trump v. Roise v. Paula v. Simon v. "monkey-boy", but instead I would like to share my list to ten strange things I have seen or done in my life. While this list is in random order, it's worth nothing that each of these things are tres freaky.

1. At a Wal-Mart here in Tulsa I saw a Hasdiec Jew and a Rastafrain together. Even back in New York the chances of these two types of people hanging out together are slim, even slimmer here in Tulsa.

2. At Waikiki, I saw a man and his women...well, you know, out in the ocean. Anyway, they were about 20 yards offshore when I saw them. It was near midnight, so they probably thought it was safe. Alas, it wasn't, because I showed up. At first I thought it was a shark trying to kill a sea lion, but as I got closer to the water I saw them! Don't ask my why I was at the beach that late.....

3. In 1998, I was driving down Peachtree Street in Atlanta, and I saw a man...an apparently homeless man, trying to help a women into a red corvette. She was coming out of an restaurant and the car hop brought her car to the front. Homeless man pushed him out of the way, opened the driver's side door, and let the woman into her car. She gave him a tip. About ten minutes later I was waiting outside the Hard Rock, waiting to get in, when this same weirdo came strolling by. The speakers outside of the Hard Rock starting playing Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean"; Dude started to moonwalk, doing the running man, you name it. I think he made about $10 in tips.

4. Speaking of tips, I made $3 dancing on a bar in Waikiki. I needed the cash.

5. I met Pat Morita (aka Mr. Miagee) in Honolulu. I walked up to him and said,"Hey, Mr. Miagee. Wax on, wax off!" His response; "Yeah, very funny. Like that's the first time anyone has ever said that to me."

6. In Korea, some buddies and I came across a temple built into the side of a mountain. We didn't see anyone, so we walked up to the entrance, and were chased away by a horde of Buddhist monks with brooms. At least they didn't go crouching tiger on us.

7. For this you need to see a picture of me.....when I was in Somalia, there were a group of kids that were trying to guess what "nationality" some of the African-American soldiers were based on their appearance (Kenya, Nigerian, etc.) When they saw me, they said I looked like Michael Jackson! Thanks, kids! I almost get shot over there, and they're calling me Michael Jackson.......

8. I saw Wayne Newton in concert....USO tour. Wayne rocks!

9. I saw Garth Brooks at a McDonald's drive through in Owasso, OK.

10. I almost fell out of a helicopter over Miami Beach, FL.

11. I met Chewbacca....couldn't understand a word he was saying. Chewy has bad breath!

12. I sat next to a super model on a flight from Seattle to Seoul. I can't remember her name...Cindy something....OK, she wasn't a super model, but she did show me some of her modeling pictures. She was, how you say, hot!

I think that's enough for now. I actually came up with more than ten things. I'll have to do this again sometime. Rock on!